Listening to a CD or walking down a road, looking back to
things in one's own life, when thinking about a storyline or a character in a
new book. It's true that when I write, I use shadows of my self within the storeys,
but their only shadows, inspired by a lifetime of memories and happenings not
always of one's self, but what may have happened to others.
I am struggling with not starting book 3 not for inspiration
but to quell it. Its all about time and time left. Book one is born and out
there having a life, book 2 is being made ready for its berth soon to be born.
They both took the last autumn and winter of 2018 into 2019 to wright, some 6 months sitting writing and wandering
around London for inspiration for book one and then researching around Hayes Hillingdon
and Uxbridge for book 2. It all takes time, and that’s the problem I struggle
with, not the storeys as they come flooding in all the time. But I struggle
with losing time for other things in my life that meane as much to me.
My yey sight gradually deteriorating with a genetic problem
and in fact, registered legally blind.however have just sufficient view in my peripheral
to riding my beloved Trikes. And still, enjoy
viewing my city, London, and just lately Helen and I have started travelling
around the UK to visit the cathedrals and minsters and abbeys we have left. I
adore and Love the history of England, medieval history manly, and there is the
inspiration n to write my books.
The struggle with time the time left and prioritising what
is left of it if I right I sit for many weeks and months in a room on my own,
as once I start I have to do this as this is the way I write. Or go out on my trike and use what time I have
left enjoying this freedom to travel and to be with friends and have a laugh. I
think of my writing and asked am I wasting my time, I have a lack of confidence
and doubt my weighting is it for real is it enjoyed is it good enuff f to be enjoyed.
I am told most writers suffer from this. So I ask my self is worth the time I
have to put into it. Against what time I have left.
With sight, I have
left. The losing of my view is not a
problem in its self, I have got used to it in a way, and it has only a few moments
of frustrations around it. It's what to do with what's left of it. Plus I have
a problem with my computer software at the moment, I really on totally to write
with. There was an upgrade, which I really totally really on. And it has a bug
that is affecting office big tome and the speech I need when writing on the
computer. So if I wanted to start to write book 3, I could not do so. I am just
hoping the bug is fixed soon, as it’s a pain in the ass!
I am also feeling my age is not working agest me to, again
something we all have to get used to. I am having problems with my ankles, which
is thought to be arthritis and years of riding bikes. Life is such a dilemma,
but its all still good and enjoyable to be retired as it gives time to just
think and come to terms with things without the pressure of working life as
well.
I think the writing will be the last to go, as to the mix of
disability I have that affect my writing. As I can't touch type, I had tried learning
when I was at the RNIB college some years back, typing with a blindfold, without
using a set program of finger placings, but being dyslexic it just does not
work. In the end, the teacher lad his hands on mine at the college and told me they
could not watch me struggling with it any longer, and it was time to stop
trying. I am going to look into speech technology soon as I understand its
progress a lot over the years, again some years ago I tried it, but it still
did not work for me.
The dilemma is time, and if I am wasting it or not on writing.
I am hoping when book 2 comes out, it will give me an answer as to writing book
3.I am looking out of the window at the sunshine. Its time for a bike ride, I think,
and some gardening However that’s becoming somewhat dangerous, and I have to
start thinking about minimising it. Two days ago I was pruning a tree with a large
set of cutters when a branch I cut fell back on the cutters, and I did not see
it, and the handle of the cutters hit me in the mouth splitting my lip. And I always
cut my fingers with pruning shears or grabbing things that cut my hands even
though I have gloves on. But life goes in LOL.
The garden what I can see of it is looking great, and I am
told so to that’s pleasing too.
OK, I am off for a ride.
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